The Trouble Way Read online

  Linda had just finished putting the few dishes from dinner in the drainer and there was a tap at the door.

  “What a nice surprise. Come on in. What are you doing out on such a stormy night?”

  “I was getting bored and needed some company.” Ann said as she took off her jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Of course not, you are welcome anytime. Actually, I was getting a little bored myself and was wondering what I was going to do tonight.” She settled onto the couch. “I was about to watch a little TV and then just turn in. It’s been a long day.”

  “Mind if I put some music on?” Ann started scanning the records on the shelf below the stereo and selected her favorite Beatles album, “Rubber Soul” and slid it from the sleeve.

  “Be my guest, Hon.”

  Paul and John began singing What Goes On, and Linda rose and began turning some of the lights off and came back to the couch where Ann had made herself comfortable.

  They sat and talked for a few minutes before Linda got up and went into the bedroom. She returned with a little dark wooden box and put it on the coffee table in front of them.

  “I was hoping you had a little something in your stash,” Ann said and watched as Linda rolled a joint.

  “There’s always a little something,” Linda said as she revealed a perfectly rolled doobie, as if she were performing a slight of hand of a carney performer on a midway, pinching a tightly rolled end between thumb and forefinger and making it appear as if by magic. “Voilà.”

  Ann pulled a matchbook from her pocket and handed it to Linda who struck a match and put it to the joint. She sucked a few times on it before she managed to get the joint glowing, then took a hit and pressed it, butt first, snuggly into Ann’s fingers.

  Linda jumped up and dashed to the kitchen. When she returned she was balancing a giant bowl, a bag of Lay’s potato chips, and two glasses of wine in her hands.

  “Drinkin’ and tokin’ always gives me the munchies,” she said and tore into the bag and dumped the chips into the bowl. “This is for cotton-mouth.” Both picked up a glass and each took a sip of Merlot.

  They passed the joint back and forth as they munched on chips, listening to George Harrison singing, If I Needed Someone.

  After a few moments, Linda picked up the matches from the coffee table and went to the fireplace and put a fireplace log on the grate and lit the wrapper. She returned to the couch and watched as Ann took a final hit and put the roach in the ashtray.

  “Whew, enough for now,” Ann said.

  Linda pulled the Afghan off the arm of the couch, flung it over the both of them, and they sat cuddled together looking out at the lights of the West Seattle night. The wind picked up and the rain began to pour. They listened to the music and watched the rain hit the picture window, the trees bending to the wind, and the sparkling lights of the distant city beneath the towering cumulus clouds.

  The Presto log caught on and was throwing off a warm glow.

  “I love it when it storms. It is so cozy here in front of the fire watching a storm.” Linda said and drew closer to Ann. “It’s really nice that you came over.”

  “I’m not so sure of this. I know I was a little forward in the car the other night. This is just a little scary. I’m not sure what I am doing.” Ann said, but did not retreat.

  “I’m sure, Hon. Don’t be frightened, I won’t bite ... but then again, I just might,” Linda said with a smile and reached for Ann’s hand and held it with both of hers.

  John Lennon’s soulful voice began the breathy soft lyrics to Girl.

  “I just love this song,” Ann said.

  “Your hands are so soft,” Linda said as she gently massaged Ann’s fingers. “You have such beautiful hands.” She drew them to her lips and kissed Ann’s fingertips, one by one. When she got to her ring finger, she slipped it into her warm, damp mouth.

  “I haven’t done anything like this before. I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m not sure if I should, but I kind of like what you are doing, Lindy. That feels nice.”

  “Ann, Honey, I’ll stop anytime you like.”

  “Maybe we could have a few more puffs,” Ann said and reached for the ashtray and picked up the joint, attached the roach clip, and lit it.

  They passed the joint between them and settled back under the Afghan.

  “Feel better, Hon,” Linda said as she snuggled up next to Ann.

  “Uh huh, I am feeling super. This stuff makes me have bad thoughts.”

  “Bad thoughts, huh,” Linda said.

  “Well … good, bad thoughts,” Ann said and put the clip and smoldering roach in the ashtray. She turned to Linda who was smiling up at her with wide eyes, her long, shiny, black hair covering her cheek, draped over the contour of her breast.

  “You have lovely dark eyes,” Ann said and with gentle fingers drew the hair away from Linda’s face, nestling it behind her ear, then bent and leisurely kissed each of her eyes in turn with the slightest hint of pressure. Linda could feel Ann’s lipstick cling to her eyelids as Ann advanced from one to the other. When Linda opened her eyes and looked into Ann’s, she put her full lips on Linda’s with a light trembling touch.

  “Honey, for a girl who isn’t sure of herself, you are doing just fine,” Linda whispered when their kiss finally came to an end. “Please, don’t you dare stop.”

  “I have no intention of stopping, Sweetheart, I promise. At least not until I collect that bite you mentioned. Now, raise your arms like a good girl.”

  She pulled Linda’s sweater over her head, unsnapped and removed her bra, and tilted Linda’s slender body back against the arm of the couch, her arms resting leisurely over her head. Ann leaned forward over her and nestled her head on Linda’s shoulder. She kissed her neck and slowly moved toward her small round breasts and with ample lips began on one nipple and slowly moved to the other and gradually downward to Linda’s soft, lurching, velvet stomach. With Ann’s expert experience with female under garments, she soon had Linda’s, along with her own bare body, lying with nothing on but the Afghan, but mostly her own soft body to keep Linda cozy.

  Thunder rumbled in the distance and she felt the probing caress of Ann’s tongue. It stirred the cluster of nerve endings covering her soft, vulnerable lips. Her throat fashioned a delicate whimper; shivers coursed through her body, and lightning flashed, trolling for thunder across the distant, stormy heavens, and Ann kept her promise and in the warm flickering glow of the fire did not dare to stop.

  “He was a nice looking guy, sort of tall, about your height, I guess,” Linda said, eyes darting around as if the guy was going to appear at the door. “He was real nice. Wanted to buy a ‘make-up’ present for his girlfriend. They had a fight.”

  “Tell us what happened,” Mr. Hedd said. He sat at the personnel manager’s desk. Ms. Becky sat in an extra chair brought into her office. Linda sat on a third.

  “It happened really fast, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know what to do,” Linda said. “Do you have a Kleenex? Am I going to be fired?”

  Ms. Becky leaned over and produced a box from her side drawer and handed it to Linda. “Here you are Hon. Relax and try to think.”

  “Thank you Ms. Becky, I’m so sorry,” Linda said pulling a tissue from the box and dabbing her nose. “Am I going to lose my job?”

  Rick, the security manager, entered with another chair and took a seat backwards on it. “You might,” he piped in. “What’d the guy look like?”

  “Rick, there is no need for that tone,” Ms. Becky said and patted Linda on the knee. “Can’t you see she feels bad enough already? Go ahead, Linda, tell us what the man looked like.”

  “Like I said, he is about as tall as Mr. Hedd.” Linda turned to face Ms. Becky, her back to Rick.

  “Yeah, you told us that. Can you be a little more specific what he actually looked like?” Rick said.

  Linda glanced at his notepad and noticed as he poised his pen above his spi
ral notebook with “Investigations,” printed on the cover and with a single word, “tall,” beneath the heading, “Man,” written with a double underline on the first page.

  Linda scooted her chair closer to Ms. Becky and continued. “He was very nice. He said I was cute, that I looked sort of like his girlfriend. Well, I took the ring out and put it on the display pad, you know, like we’re supposed to,” she glanced at Rick, “to let him look at it.”

  “What is the price on the ring?” Mr. Hedd asked.

  “That’s when this girl came up behind me on the other side of the counter and interrupted me,” Linda said. “She wasn’t tall and was on the plump side. She was really rude to me. I want you to write that in your Kiddie Pad,” she said, looking directly at Rick.

  When she turned to look back at Ms. Becky, she could see that the personnel manager was having difficulty in suppressing a grin. Linda beamed in return and continued.

  “She said she was short changed and wanted her money back and that she wanted to talk to the manager if she didn’t get it.”

  “What happened to that woman?” Rick said flipping a page and writing “Woman: Short, Fat,” on the second page of the pad but neglected to write a comment about being rude to Linda.

  “I don’t know; everything happened so fast,” Linda said.

  “The price, Linda,” Rick said. “Quit beating around the damn bush. You didn’t tell Mr. Hedd the price of the ring.”

  Linda shot a quick glance at Rick then down at her hands clasped in her lap. “It was the most expensive one in the case. I’m so sorry, Mr. Hedd. The woman kept yelling at me about being overcharged.”

  “Ms. Bonnét, the price?” Rick said.

  Linda leaned from her chair and tapped her finger on Rick’s notepad. “I don’t see any note about the woman being exceeding rude to me, Rick.” She glanced at Ms. Becky and resumed her seat.

  Rick stared at Linda and scribbled, “Rude,” under the “Woman” heading without looking down at what he was writing.

  “You wrote right over “Fat,” Rick. You should be more diligent.”

  Again, Ms. Becky smiled when Linda looked up at her.

  “It was almost five hundred ... I’m so sorry, Mr. Hedd. Am I going to be fired?”

  “You’re damn right you’re going to be fired,” Rick said. “Shit, what do you expect?”

  “No, Ms. Bonnét,” Mr. Hedd said, holding his hand up to Rick. “You are not going to be fired. You were the victim of a scam. But, I’m afraid we are going to have to document the incident and you are going to have to be much more vigilant in the future.”

  “When I looked back to the man, he was gone. And the ring was gone, I think he took it. But I’m not positive. I didn’t actually see him take it.”

  “What happened to the bitch?” Rick said. “I suppose you didn’t actually see what happened to her either.”

  “Rick,” Ms. Becky said holding up one finger to her pursed lips.

  “I told her that she was going to have to go to the service desk and tell them about her problem. I assumed she went to the service desk.” She shot a side look at Rick. “And no, I really didn’t actually see where she went.”

  “Of course you didn’t,” Rick said. “What took you so long to call security?”

  “I did call right away. The man just disappeared. I turned around for just a moment to help the lady. She was really, really rude and demanded that I give her a refund.”

  “You haven’t really been much help on the description of the man,” Mr. Hedd said. “Or the woman, for that matter.”

  “It all happened so fast.” Linda wiped her eye. “I really wasn’t concentrating on what they looked like. He was tall, like I said. I think he had on jeans, I don’t know.

  Rick added “Jeans,” to his notepad under “Man” with a big question mark beside it. “She-it … big help.”

  “And the woman kept raising her voice to me, telling me to give her a refund. She finally got the hint and she started to walk toward the service desk and when I turned back to the man, he disappeared. I looked at the display pad and the ring was not on it. Then I thought maybe the ring fell on the floor and I looked all around counter but I couldn’t find it. I thought I saw his head over the hardware counters and I walked all the way to the garden shop and when I got close to the man, I saw it wasn’t him.”

  “So you lied and didn’t call security right away like you just told us,” Rick said. “How stupid can you be?”

  Ms. Becky again held up her index finger to Rick and lowered her eyebrows.

  “I called as soon as I got back to the jewelry department. I guess it wasn’t exactly right away. I was confused and started to get a little panicky. I was looking for the ring and the man. I knew I would be in big trouble for losing it. I couldn’t think straight. And, I might add, where were you Rick, having coffee again in the grill? I think I saw you there when I came on duty. Aren’t you supposed to be patrolling the sales floor for just this sort of thing?”

  “It’s obvious you can’t think straight,” Rick said and turned to look at Mr. Hedd. “I was on my scheduled break, ask Mr. Forest. Should I notify the city police?”

  “No, Rick, it would be about as useful as pissing up a broom. Pardon my French, ladies. We don’t have a description of either of the thieves and it would be a waste of time. For that matter, we don’t even have a photo of the ring to give to them. We really don’t have any idea of what the ring looks like.”

  “Mr. Hedd, we do know what that ring looks like. It’s almost like mine,” Linda said, holding up her right hand with a gold ring with a large emerald stone. “I bought one when they first arrived. It was my birthday and I don’t have a boyfriend. I thought they were so beautiful I just had to splurge and give myself a present. The one he got was a little bigger than this one.”

  “At any rate, we really don’t know what the suspect looks like. He’s tall, that’s about it,” Mr. Hedd said looking at Linda’s hand. “And he had on jeans … maybe. And the woman is short and fat … and rude. That is a beautiful ring, Linda.”

  “Oh, thank you, Mr. Hedd, I just love it. And there was only one thief, Mr. Hedd,” Linda said. “Not two.”

  “No, Ms. Bonnét, there were two. The woman was there to distract you while the man took the ring.”

  “How could anybody do such a thing? I just don’t believe it,” Linda said.

  “You were a victim of a scam that happens all the time,” Rick said. “One person distracts the mark, that’s you, and the other one steals the object. Everyone knows that, Linda. You must be really stupid.”

  “There is absolutely no need for that sort of talk, Rick,” Ms. Becky said. “I’m sure Linda did the best she could. I think you owe Ms. Bonnét an apology.”

  All eyes were on Rick as he sat mute, looking down, scribbling small circles on his pad.

  “Well?” Ms. Becky said.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it,” Rick said, scribble an angry line on his pad and got up to leave. “That it, Mr. Hedd?”

  “Hold on Rick, that was not an apology,” Ms. Becky said. “Give it another go.”

  Rick half-turned with his notebook in hand. “Sorry.”

  “One more thing before you go, Rick.”

  Rick turned back to Mr. Hedd. “Yes sir?”

  “I’ll need a loss prevention report on this incident,” Mr. Hedd said. “Please have it on my desk before you leave for the day.”

  Rick nodded and turned once again to leave, glaring at Linda on his way past. “I’ll need your statement before you go home Missy,” Rick said, pointing at Linda.

  “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hedd and Ms. Becky,” Linda said, ignoring Rick’s second insult.

  “Let’s be more vigilant from here on out, Ms. Bonnét,” Mr. Hedd said. “You are free to go back to your department but stop by the security office to give Rick your statement first.

  Linda rose from her chair, turned from the others and a smile appeared on her lips as she gl
anced at the ring as she reached for the doorknob and left the personnel office.

  She walked down the hall and into the women’s lounge.

  Ann appeared behind her and gave her a playful tickle in the ribs.

  Startled, Linda gave a squeal. “Oh, it’s you. Hi, Honey.”

  “Hi, Sweetie, that is a gorgeous ring,” Ann said as she clutched Linda’s hand and examined the ring closely. “I haven’t seen you wearing that before, did you just get it?”

  “I did. It is gorgeous, isn’t it?”

  They turned to the mirror and each ran a comb through their hair and smiled when either caught the other’s eye.

  “If you’re an obedient little girl,” Linda said and she gave Ann a playful wink and reached over and squeezed her arm, “we’ll see what the good fairy can come up with for you.”

  “Nice set of wheels.” Linda was putting her groceries into the trunk of her Audi.

  “Oh, hi Mr. Forest,” Linda said. “Thank you.”

  “So, you must live pretty close,” Jake said. His VW was parked several spaces from Linda’s Audi in the Safeway parking lot.

  “Not too far.” Linda said. “About a mile down Delridge. I thought you lived in Renton.”

  “Yeah, I do. I was just picking up a few staples, myself.” Jake pulled a six-pack of Rainier partially out of the grocery bag for her to see. I’m off the weekend. How about you?”

  “Yes, lucky me. I’m off for the next three days.” She dug in her purse and pulled an enormous key ring and fingered though the keys until she came up with the door key and moved to unlock the door.

  “That’s an interesting key ring there,” Jake said, reaching out his hand. “Bet that never gets lost in your purse. Can I look?” She handed the monstrosity to him with a smile and he looked at the various do-dads and keys attached.